2005 already?
Well...yet another new year huh? One word: ugh. I'm not even sure that qualifies as a word but oh well, just go with it. Let's get started shall we?

Basically my new year's off to sort of a bad start really. Can't be sure if it's horrible yet or not so I suppose that's a good thing.

It's January 4th already and each day brings Travis' visit closer and closer. To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm excited, but I'm scared. I'm not sure what to expect. I remember being with him and how it was like. I remember how happy I was with him. Used to be spending my life with him was all I could ever hope for. Sometimes I wonder how everything managed to fall apart so quickly. Was it my fault or his? Was it anybody's? I don't know anymore. Part of me still misses him. Misses the feel of his arms around me or his lips on mine...just simple things like that. I know, dangerous territory, but I have no intentions of cheating on Greg. Hell, I'm marrying him at the end of the month for God's sake.

That's another big change. We decided to go to the Justice of the Peace instead of waiting until May to get married. So basically, by the end of the month, I'll be taking that big step most people dread. Oddly enough, I never have though. I've wanted to get married since I was a little girl. Now that I know I've found the right one I'm even more anxious to go through with it. I won't be telling my family yet. Only a select few people will know. We're still going through with the ceremony in May for our families' benefits. If Dad knew I got married three months ahead of schedule he'd go through the roof. I'm just waiting to see how things will work out.

I'm still in the process of trying to get a new car. Such a long drawn out process. I was trying for a 2000 Mitzubishi Eclipse this week but it's not working out like I'd hoped it would. Looks like the dealership may have sold it out from under me. Now it's on to a 1997 Toyota Celica. A bit older than I'd like but Greg says it's a really good car. Fully decked out too with loads of extras. Even a CD player that'll play the discs Greg burned for me. I admit, it sounds good. I'm a bit skeptical, but I'll bite my tongue and at least go take a look at it after work today. Hopefully it's something worth looking at, but if Greg says it is, then I have to take his word for it. I'm going to try to get a loan from Hibernia to cover the cost of the car using my grandfather as a co-signer. We'll run his credit and see if the bank will accept it. Geez I hope they will. I'm not sure I can handle another denial.

On the bright side, I'm feeling sentimental and romantic today so maybe I'll surprise Greg tonight with something special. My friends have told me over and over how lucky I am to have him and I know it. I can't picture my life without him now. I know sometimes we don't get along and we're at each other's throats, but I love him. The kittens just add to the fun. Kallie and Arwen do something new every day. My babies are getting so big. Three months old and they're huge. Not huge as in fat (although Greg would say Arwen's a bit on the chubby side, but he gets smacked for it every single time trust me). I can't wait to get home every day and play with them. They have a habit of using me as a pillow though. I don't mind really.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Better get back to work and do something useful for a change.