|
|
|
I have a knack for taking a long time to update this thing, don't I. You'd think I wouldn't take forever considering I have nothing else better to do with my time for the most part.
First things first, I lost my job at the bank because they're all a bunch of assholes. Biased? I think so.
I ended up getting pregnant again in February. Things were going well at first but then I lost it in April. Greg's family still thinks it was Travis' because they swear on all that's holy I'm cheating on him. That still pisses me off.
Because I was pregnant the wedding dress I bought wasn't going to fit me for much longer so Greg and I moved the wedding up to April 16th. Dad and Tasha paid for it surprisingly and Shelly let us have it at her place. Everything went pretty well. We even had Travis in it as a groomsman. Only thing I had a problem with was trying to stand up for long periods of time since I'd just miscarried three days previously. I made it three hours though. I'm so proud. *sniff*
Everyone says marriage is no picnic. I've begun to realize it. Greg and I have been at odds ever since we got married. Mostly because of Travis. I refuse to give Travis up as a friend. His parents have banned Travis from the house. Ray even threatened to beat the shit out of both Travis and me if he saw him here again. So I mainly have to go to Travis' or meet him somewhere if we want to hang out. It took forever for me to convince Greg to let me continue seeing him. Greg just listens to his parents too damn much because he still thinks their word is law.
I'm trying to help things go as smoothly as possible. I only see Travis about a fourth of the time that I used to. I see him maybe twice a week if I'm lucky. It really pisses me off though that people are trying to tell me how to live my life. Why should I do what anyone else says? I know that Greg and I are married and therefore I have to consider him and his feelings but why should I when usually he's being a jackass?
Well, today's Father's Day. We are supposed to go meet Dad at Shelly's later on this afternoon so we can spend time with him. That should be interesting. Always is. Especially when Dad's pissed at something which he will be. He's not too thrilled with Ray at this point. He'll probably try to tell me that I need to get rid of Travis much like my mother, Tasha, and everyone else have been telling me all along, but as usual I won't listen. He's too important to me to just get rid of him. We've been through too much together. I can't just forget about him. No one seems to understand that. They think that just because I have a history with him, I can't be around him. In my opinion, they're all full of shit and I'm tired of catering to them. I want to live my own life. Greg says it's not my own life anymore, it's _our_ life. I understand that, but I can't ignore the person I was before I married him and I certainly can't ignore my heart. It's not fair for him to ask me to either.
Anyway, that's about all I've got time for right now. We'll probably be leaving shortly to head over to Shelly's for lunch. I'll try to write more later even though I've got a regular book journal I've been writing in for months now. I've just passed 200 pages the other day. That's some serious writing, don't you think? That's another thing I'm kinda proud of.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, January 10th, 2005
|
|
|
God I hate Mondays. Don't you? As always we were swamped at first when we opened at 9 this morning but it's kinda slowed down a bit. Yay, I finally get time to breathe not to mention sit down.
Four more days til Travis comes down. Geez...seems like the time really flew by. I'm still not sure what to think. I know that I'm nervous and I shouldn't be, but I am. It's been two freaking years for God's sake. How the hell am I supposed to act? What am I supposed to say? This is all so confusing but at the same time it's really exciting. I think he's trying to kill me though. He grew his hair out. Jesus that's gonna freak the hell out of me. I used to not be the long hair type but I think some things have changed since he and I dated. Long black hair past his shoulders? Take a deep breath, Kura, and don't even think about it. Just let it go. But I haven't seen it yet. Oh boy...I'm in trouble. No, no I'm not. Everything will be just fine. He'll come down, meet Greg, stay in my house and we'll all have a great time. I seriously can't wait to get him in New Orleans. He's gonna have the time of his life (I hope...)
I'm still not sure all this has sunk in yet. If it hasn't, it's gonna blindside me Friday night when he gets into town. Who's idea was this anyway? Oh wait...it was mine. *smacks forehead* Am I regretting asking him to come down? No, not exactly. Do I want to tell him to stay in Ohio and cancel the whole thing? No, don't want that. Do I want him staying in my house, the house I currently live in with my husband? Yeah, but it'll sure be weird. All in all, this is going to take some getting used to.
I have plenty of plans for him even though Greg's mother thinks those plans involve sleeping with him (*seethe*) and I can promise you that's not one of the things on my to-do list. There's so much I want to show him so he can finally experience Louisiana at it's finest. I just don't know if I can fit it all into a five day time period. Well, that settles it, he's just going to have to come back. Whoa...wait a minute. He hasn't even come down yet and already I'm planning for a second visit? How can I be so sure I'll survive the first? Because he's Travis, that's why. Even if he still has a thing for me I know he'll be on his best behavior. If he doesn't behave then he knows I'll send him right back to Ohio and there won't be a second visit period. Kinda harsh, but that's how it's gotta be. I've been firm from the start on the point that nothing can threaten my relationship with Greg and Travis knows that.
Still not sure what Ellie thinks of all this. I know Travis has told me over and over that everything's fine, but I have my doubts. I'm sorry to say it but I do. Maybe I always will. Another thing I don't know. Big surprise huh? This weekend should prove to be _very_ interesting. Details at a later date.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
|
|
|
Well...yet another new year huh? One word: ugh. I'm not even sure that qualifies as a word but oh well, just go with it. Let's get started shall we?
Basically my new year's off to sort of a bad start really. Can't be sure if it's horrible yet or not so I suppose that's a good thing.
It's January 4th already and each day brings Travis' visit closer and closer. To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm excited, but I'm scared. I'm not sure what to expect. I remember being with him and how it was like. I remember how happy I was with him. Used to be spending my life with him was all I could ever hope for. Sometimes I wonder how everything managed to fall apart so quickly. Was it my fault or his? Was it anybody's? I don't know anymore. Part of me still misses him. Misses the feel of his arms around me or his lips on mine...just simple things like that. I know, dangerous territory, but I have no intentions of cheating on Greg. Hell, I'm marrying him at the end of the month for God's sake.
That's another big change. We decided to go to the Justice of the Peace instead of waiting until May to get married. So basically, by the end of the month, I'll be taking that big step most people dread. Oddly enough, I never have though. I've wanted to get married since I was a little girl. Now that I know I've found the right one I'm even more anxious to go through with it. I won't be telling my family yet. Only a select few people will know. We're still going through with the ceremony in May for our families' benefits. If Dad knew I got married three months ahead of schedule he'd go through the roof. I'm just waiting to see how things will work out.
I'm still in the process of trying to get a new car. Such a long drawn out process. I was trying for a 2000 Mitzubishi Eclipse this week but it's not working out like I'd hoped it would. Looks like the dealership may have sold it out from under me. Now it's on to a 1997 Toyota Celica. A bit older than I'd like but Greg says it's a really good car. Fully decked out too with loads of extras. Even a CD player that'll play the discs Greg burned for me. I admit, it sounds good. I'm a bit skeptical, but I'll bite my tongue and at least go take a look at it after work today. Hopefully it's something worth looking at, but if Greg says it is, then I have to take his word for it. I'm going to try to get a loan from Hibernia to cover the cost of the car using my grandfather as a co-signer. We'll run his credit and see if the bank will accept it. Geez I hope they will. I'm not sure I can handle another denial.
On the bright side, I'm feeling sentimental and romantic today so maybe I'll surprise Greg tonight with something special. My friends have told me over and over how lucky I am to have him and I know it. I can't picture my life without him now. I know sometimes we don't get along and we're at each other's throats, but I love him. The kittens just add to the fun. Kallie and Arwen do something new every day. My babies are getting so big. Three months old and they're huge. Not huge as in fat (although Greg would say Arwen's a bit on the chubby side, but he gets smacked for it every single time trust me). I can't wait to get home every day and play with them. They have a habit of using me as a pillow though. I don't mind really.
Anyway, enough of my rambling. Better get back to work and do something useful for a change.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, December 27th, 2004
|
|
|
*sigh* Another Christmas come and gone...
This is so not fair. I had the best Christmas ever but it was way too short. I only got a half a day off on Christmas Eve and the weekend went by way too fast. Maybe next year will be just as great. Here's hoping...
Greg was wonderful this year. Our first Christmas together and I'll never forget it. He got me the jewelry I've been wanting for ages. Tanzanite earrings and a matching necklace. I love them!! :) But it isn't just the jewelry that made it my best Christmas, it was Greg. I hope we have many more like it and I hope everyone can have a wonderful Christmas just like I did.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Friday, December 17th, 2004
|
|
|
|
Things are kinda going wrong one after another. I'm not sure what exactly is going on here, but people just seem to want to mess up all of my plans. What the hell is up with that anyway? I'm wondering what all I'll have to do to set things right again. Greg and I are fighting all the time now it seems like. I guess it's just all the stress we're both having to deal with. We both work long hours, our jobs are hectic, and I'm trying desperately to get a new car (Kia turned me down..._again_...those assholes), and it just seems like getting married isn't on his list of priorities. I'm just wondering what all is going to happen in the next few months. I'm wondering if we're even going to get married on schedule. He wonders what the rush is and honestly I'm not sure what to tell him. I just know I want to get married and he's the one I want to marry. I don't know why I'm pushing so hard for this so quickly. Maybe I'm just afraid that something'll happen and this won't work out. He says he doesn't want to get a divorce so he says I'd better be sure of us before I continue planning for the wedding. I'm sure...I just don't think he is sometimes. He says he loves me, but sometimes it's hard to tell. I'm out of ideas of what to do next. Travis tried to help me and I appreciate him trying, but I'm still scared. I'm scared of being alone again. I doubt I could handle it.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
|
|
|
Well, got about nine minutes before the lobby opens for business...*hides behind counter*
I find out today whether or not I'm approved to get a new Kia. I'm wondering how much it'll cost me though and how much of a down payment I'll need. I really have my heart set on the Spectra5. That would be beyond cool if I could get that car. Even if it isn't a 2005 or if it's one of those cars they've only used for test drives. They're supposed to call me at work to let me know if they'll work with me. I _really_ hope they'll work with me. I've heard Kia is very reliable as far as their cars go. I'm wondering what my options will be. I wish I could have a new car by this weekend. My van is really falling apart. At least Greg finally got the desk out of the back of it and into the house. Now we just have to get the two bedrooms in order so we can have a place for Travis and Ellie to stay when they come down. Gee...that's gonna be fun. There's so much crap in those two rooms that I think it'll take us til January to get it all out of the way. At least we got the two bedframes moved. It's just a bunch of junk taking up space. Anyway, I guess that's it for today. I'll post more later this week if I get the chance.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Friday, December 10th, 2004
|
|
|
Welcome to the wonderful world of my life. Interesting as that doesn't sound, there have been some changes made as the subject of this post pointed out.
First, and most exciting of all....I'm getting married next May. May 21st to be exact. I'm so excited. I've been planning like crazy trying to get things done in time. I didn't realize how hard it would be to plan a wedding but I'm loving every minute of it. Wanna see the dress? Go here: http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridalgowns_detail.jsp?stid=953&prodgroup=10 It's simple, yet I love it. I'm trying to get similar bridesmaid and flower girl dresses. We'll see how that one goes. The colors are lavendar, silver, and black. It's going to be set in a plantation style home that my 2nd ex-stepmother owns in Baton Rouge. The reception will be held there also after the ceremony. I feel like a little girl on Christmas morning. lol.
Second, I started a new job back in September at Hibernia National Bank. I'm a teller, but I don't just stay at one branch. I pretty much go wherever they send me. Even if that means I've got an hour and a half drive to get to whatever branch I'm at. Sometimes they send me to two branches in one day. Trust me, it isn't fun. I've met some really nice people and some really mean/stupid people, but I guess that's the fun part of diversity. I'd love to find a home branch, but so far it looks as if I may have to wait a while. It kills me on gas mileage, plus that Dodge P.O.S. I'm driving makes new noises every day pretty much. All in all, though, it's a great job with great pay. Better pay than I've ever made anywhere. I get health insurance, dental, all that good stuff. Plus paid holidays. Oh yeah, the paid holidays rule!!
Third, got two new kittens back in October. I wish I had a picture of them to post, but I'll just have to describe them. Their names are Kallie and Arwen. Kallie is an orange, black, and white calico kitten with pretty deep green eyes and the best personality I've ever seen in a cat. Arwen is a Siamese with crystal blue eyes and she's my little loner. She keeps to herself mostly, napping on the back of the sofa and not doing much. Kallie is a little bundle of energy. I fell in love with them at first sight. I won't bother to deny it. They're my babies and I love spending time with them or watching them play around the house. They're just too funny.
Fourth, guess who's coming to visit next month for a few days. Yep...you guessed right. Travis and his girlfriend Ellie are coming. Won't that be fun? Actually I think it will be, but we'll see how it goes. I've got all kinds of things planned for them. Including one seriously spooky surprise. I can't wait to see their faces. That'll be hilarious. I'm kinda nervous about it honestly. I'm not sure what to expect. It's been so long since I've seen Travis and the last time I either saw or spoke to him we weren't exactly pleasant. I'm worried about Ellie...about what type of reaction I can expect from her. I mean, considering she's travelling 1,000 miles with her boyfriend to see her boyfriend's ex-fiance and also staying at said ex-fiance's house for a few days and considering he's still in love with me...oh boy...this could get ugly. Or hopefully it won't. I'll do my best to make sure they both enjoy their visit. Hopefully it won't be too awkward.
Wedding plans are making things a little hectic. I need to find out what I'm going to do about food, photography, a minister/priest, etc. Tasha's already got my wedding planned for me and it's not exactly what I had in mind. It went from the groom and groomsmen wearing black and white to wearing black and gray. I can see I'm going to have to put my foot down on this. After all, you only get married once supposedly. Greg isn't much of a help really. I guess men just aren't when it comes to these things. Now you ask him for help with something about a car, he's all ears instead of 'yeah, honey, whatever you want...' Makes me laugh really, but sometimes he does manage to piss me off. Quite a bit actually, but that's life right?
I haven't been writing nearly as much as I used to. Mostly too caught up with work, wedding plans, spending time with Greg and kitties, etc. I get really good ideas, but by the time I get them, I'm not at a point where I have time to sit down and put them on paper. I've lost so many good story ideas, I swear. It's almost painful really. I miss writing. I kinda got side-tracked with getting a new job. I wanted to be a teacher, maybe even write a book one day. Maybe I still can but not for a while. Aunt Danielle's put the pressure on me about making sure I don't mess things up with Hibernia. She did put herself on the line for me and I don't want to let her down. I'm trying really hard not to. It's not as easy as I once thought it would be.
Mom's side of the family seems to have taken a new interest in my life now. I've found that Mom wasn't as honest with me as I'd like to think she was. It was never a contest of who gets to be the favorite in the family. Mom just made it out to be that way. It's a major relief really. I'm tired of trying to be better than everyone else. I'm just trying to make it from day to day, building the life that I want. That's all a person can do, really. I'm still trying to get Dad on my good side. I told him about Greg and I being engaged. He doesn't approve. Even says he probably won't be there at the wedding. I'm not sure if he'll change his mind or not. If he doesn't then I guess Grandpa will have to walk me down the aisle. As Grandma says, he's got lots of practice. Walked three daughters down the aisle (one of them twice) and two nieces. Might as well add a granddaughter to the mix.
I'm actually at work right now. It's kind of a slow period (knock on wood) and it's nice to get a moment to breathe. I can't wait to just go home and relax. It's been a really long week. I almost thought it would never end honestly. An endless line of customers with a multitude of transactions gets tedious after the first dozen or so you run across. At least I got off fairly early each day this week. The only reason I'm here so late today is because it's a Friday. Paydays suck unless they're ones I get paid on. Too bad those only occur once every two weeks. Greg sucks, he gets paid every week. *seethe*
Anyway, guess that's enough of an update for now (aka my fingers are getting tired). I'll try to post more often but it's kinda hard when you only have internet access at work. Really takes the fun out of it actually. But oh well, hopefully everything will work out. Here's to life and all it's wonderful surprises...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
|
That stuck up, pansy ass, little bitch! Who does she think she is? Oh sure, she's the Command.com...riiight, that earns her brownie points in my book...NOT! More like it earns her a swift kick in the ass. Especially if she pulls another stunt like that again. Miss High and Might Holier Than Thou Dot Matrix has another thing coming if she thinks she can order me around like one of her little cronies. I am not, nor have I ever been an official citizen of Mainframe (even though Bob, Phong, and AndrAIa insist that I become one) so she has no jurisdiction over me. Technically I'm a guest in this system and I can stay as long as I want so screw her! She kissed Bob right in front of me! As if that wasn't bad enough, after they managed to seperate (after five damn minutes!), she looked at me and told me to 'run along and play with Enzo' oooo....that good for nothing wench! That's it, I've had it! I'm packing my bags and making my merry little way out of this two bit system. Goodbye Mainframe with it pansy of a Command.com, hello...uh...*shrug* don't know where, I think I'm just gonna pick a place and go with it. But not before I give Dot a goodbye punch in the face!
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
|
Well, I made it to 20. Who'da thunk it? Not that much different than 19 I suppose except for the fact that no one can use the word 'teenager' to describe me ever again (thank you God for small miracles). I swear, teenage hormones will be my undoing. Celebrated another year of my life going by in a very unlikely way...recruited help in the form of four male strippers at a local club in downtown. Good God they make getting a year older something to actually look forward to. I can tell you one thing: next year, 21st birthday...oh hell yeah I'm going back there. And that way I'll actually be able to buy my own drink! Well, I don't actually drink. Can't even stand the taste of alcohol really, but hey, at least I can say I went to a bar and _bought_ and alcoholic beverage (even if I do end up giving it to one of my friends). Aside from the male strippers, the male species as a whole is still managing to piss me off, but then again, what's new? Makes me wonder why women feel the need to have children and essentially run the risk of bringing more of said male species into the world just to aggravate us. Sure we love them to death, but more often than not we just can't stand them. Therefore I am voluntarily dropping out of the so called 'single market.' Simply because I'm tired of men in general. If I wasn't so attracted to them I'd say I was a lesbian, but since I'm not attracted to women at all I'm not gonna pretend. That would just be too damn weird. As far as work goes...well, work is work. Eight hours a day tied up in drive-thru, having to hear that God-awful *ding* in my ear every single time a car pulls up. I've had _nightmares_ about that damn sound. It doesn't really help that my boss thinks I'm awesome at drive-thru so he continually puts me in it every day I work, no matter how long my shift is. I once had to work drive-thru for 12 hours straight, then go back to work 4 hours later and do it again for another 7 hours (it should've been 8, but thank God my boss had a heart and let me go home an hour later. I didn't even make it to my bed, I just collapsed on the sofa after telling my parents that if I didn't move for a few hours to just leave me there). What can I say though? It's a paycheck...one I'm very lucky to have even though most days I'd rather rip my all my hair out one strand at a time instead of go to work and listen to *ding* all frickin' day. I've got some very pushy people at work too. I really only get along with one of my bosses (she was at the strip club with us last Friday if that gives you an idea. I've got pictures of her that she made me swear never to show her husband...hehe...). Anyway, I can't really think of anything else to say other than I have to go to sleep so I can get up in 6 hours just to hear *ding* for the following 8 hours. *wanders off thinking of ways to break the microphone at work that won't make it look like it was done on purpose*
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Care to guess what this entry will be about? *rolls eyes*
Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, I really do. And he's not even really my brother. He's just a friend I met in June over the internet. Yeah, I've met him in person twice but other than that it's mostly on the net. I love him with all my heart but sometimes he pisses me off beyond all sane reasoning. Yesterday we had the mother of all arguments and he left in a huff. Yes, in a huff, and I don't care if his pride is insulted by me saying it that way. It's the truth damnit.
He came over last week and I had to deal with him always spending time with one of my best friends. I didn't really get a whole lot of time with him and then they both up and lied to me about something that really hurt, but I guess it's ok for them. They're happy, fine, I'll stay out of it. He wants me to shut the hell up and mind my own damn business? Fine, I'll do that too. But that's the last time I try to help him with a problem. I refuse to be talked to that way when all I wanted was to help. No more, I'm done. Let them have their own happy little world. It's obvious I have no part in it.
*goes off to seethe some more*
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Good Lord I'm lazy. Oh well, so life's a bit hectic. It happens.
I got a new job. Go me! It's a fast food restaurant but I can't turn up the kind of money I'm making. Not to mention the hours that go with it. After all, need the funds so I can get a car and go to college. Money: a necessary evil.
There's one serious perk to my job other than the hours and the good pay...one of my co-workers. Yep, you read right, I've got a small crush on one of my co-workers. He's a shift leader so technically he's my boss...and a hot one at that. Plus he's a really nice guy. Great personality...and he's a triplet. Oh my God, yes, there are three of him! *dreamy sigh* I don't know if he's interested in me but there are these little hints that tell me he might be. I'm kinda afraid to say anything to him about it though. Oh well, we'll see how it goes I guess.
I've managed to get myself involved in yet another fandom. I actually swore I'd never see this movie nor read the books but a year later I'm crazy about them. The fandom I'm talking about is Lord of the Rings. Took me forever until I actually decided to sit down and watch The Fellowship of the Ring (well, actually my dad made me watch it while fighting tooth and nail to get me to sit down on the sofa). Afterward I was hooked. Favorite characters are obviously Frodo and Sam. Well, favorite couple I should say. This is really the first fandom where I've actually prefered a slash pairing over a het pairing which kinda surprised me a little. And man is Elijah Wood hot.
On the plus side I've actually gotten to meet a good friend of mine. I met him over the internet and finally got to meet him in person for the first time in January. He came back again just last week actually. He's really cool and I really enjoy hanging out with him. I hope he can come back to visit soon. Too bad he lives across the country.
Anyway, I'm gonna stop for now. I'm tired. Gonna go catch some z's.
*yawn* G'night.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, November 6th, 2002
|
|
|
Well, I know it's been a while since I've updated my journal, but as I'm sure anyone could relate to, it's been a hectic month. My job sucked basically but thank God I quit on Monday. I just got so tired of my asshole boss and dealing with all the immature little punks I had to work with on a daily basis.
Anyway, in other news I once again find myself dealing with unrequited love not to mention the green little devil that goes along with it called 'Jealousy'. I'm not too jealous actually because I have sense enough admit that if I'm not the one to make him happy then at least someone else should.
The story goes as such...girl loves guy...guy loves another girl...girl settles for just friends (because really, who wouldn't take what they can get in this case?).
Honestly, if I could change how I feel, I would. We all know emotions aren't that easy to control as it's been proven since the beginning. I didn't ask to love this guy, nor did I choose to, but it happened and there's not much I can do about it.
I won't go as far as saying that loving him is bad, because it's definitely not. I just don't see the point in it considering he's perfectly happy with someone else. Granted, I wish that someone could be me (and this is where the jealousy comes in) but I'm not such a bitch that I'd try to ruin it for him. If he's happy with her, I have no right to interfere.
As is everything else in regards to love, it's complicated. I've talked with him over and over on this subject and this is pretty much my way of getting closure. Whoever this girl is, I hope she realizes what she's got and that she won't take him for granted. He deserves only the best whether he believes it or not.
If I can only be his friend then I'll be the best friend I possibly can be. I definitely won't take that for granted.
Even though I don't really know why I'm writing this I guess it'll help me sort out all the confusing thoughts in my head. And besides, I can't really talk about this to anyone else anyway.
For now, I'm gonna stop here because I've got things to do around the house thanks to my lazy parents. I love them to death, but they infuriate me beyond all sane reasoning sometimes...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, October 5th, 2002
|
|
|
|
*sigh* Who knew my life could be so interesting? I've been sitting on my ascii for days doing nothing important at all. Bob and Dot went out on their little date and it looks like things are getting better between them. And we all know where that leaves me, now don't we, class...say it with me now: High and Dry...that's right. Kura's forgotten while the fairy tale romance blossoms once again. Now I'm seriously thinking of leaving Mainframe. I don't think I could handle seeing them kiss one more time. It's driving me random. Matrix keeps giving me this smug grin every time I see him. User, I'd love to wipe that damn thing off his face... For the most part though, I've been avoiding everyone. Just keeping to myself. At least that way I don't cause problems. No one here seems to care about me anyway so I suppose I might as well leave. Maybe I can try the Supercomputer. Depending on how things go here in Mainframe will decide whether or not I go. We'll see soon enough I suppose.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Friday, September 27th, 2002
|
|
|
I've seriously missed something here...
One minute I'm sitting in the park with Bob and AndrAIa, then all of a sudden Bob says 'Oh, by the way...I'm going out to a movie tonight with Dot.'
I never thought I'd be the type of person to react in totally stupid ways, but my jaw hit the ground it seems like.
AndrAIa was all happy telling him that she hoped it went well and telling him that bringing Dot some flowers would be a good idea.
Don't get me wrong, I like AndrAIa, I really do...but I swear I could've smacked her for that. She turned to me and said 'Isn't this great, Kura?' but she must've noticed the sad look on my face because she didn't say anything else.
Well, for appearances sake, I put on a little smile for Bob and said, 'yeah, it's great. I hope it goes well.'
I think it was then he realized that he shouldn't have said it in front of me.
I quickly made up some excuse about having to go see Phong for yet another scan because he's always been curious about what 'makes me tick' so to speak. They knew I was just trying to get away, but I really don't care.
*sigh* Once again, feeling this way about Bob is totally pointless and once again, it's been proven. I keep telling myself I'm happy if he's happy, but it's stupid to say that when he's happy with someone else instead of with me like I want him to be. Why did that ascii Megabyte have to create me anyway? What the dell was the point? So I could process and deal with unrequited love? That miserable son of a null.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, September 24th, 2002
|
|
|
Ok, no one ever said life was easy, but they've got nothing on a clone's life. If I have to deal with that trigger happy idiot one more time I'm gonna put him in his place. I've already knocked Matrix on his ascii once, but he keeps coming back for more. Yeah, I'm a clone of his sister, but to him that automatically means he hates me. Typical renegade...his brain lies in his gun. Dot's not too fond of me either from what I hear. I've only met her once so apparently she's avoiding me. That's fine, I could care less. Mouse on the other hand...well, let's just say Lil' Miss Southern Bell better not point that kitana of hers in my face one more time...
It's not so bad since I've got friends though. Which one to start with...hm...well, let's just start with AndrAIa.
AndrAIa is Matrix's girlfriend. She's a gamesprite surprisingly enough, but she's very nice. She's never been mean to me (well, except for that whole mess with Megabyte, but other than that...). I like hanging out with AndrAIa. She's showed me the finer points of shopping and I'm totally hooked.
Phong's another friend. He's the keeper of the core at the Principle Office and from what I understand he's pretty far up there in age. I like just sitting down and talking with him over a cup of cocoa. Some of the things he says are really interesting. No one else seems to understand him though...I wonder why. *shrug*
Ray's pretty cool even though Mouse keeps him on a tight chain (aka she drags him off every time I'm near). He's let me surf on Baud...that was so much fun I can't even begin to describe it. That accent of his is great, I just love it.
Little Enzo's so adorable. I like taking him jetbowling and circuit racing. Dot's not too happy about that, but he likes spending time with me so she'll get over it. He says 'Alphanumeric' a lot though...
Well, that's all of the friends I've made except for one. Now this is a really complicated situation I've gotten myself into...
Bob, aka Guardian 452. Being Dot's clone, I'm left with mostly the same emotions that she has. That includes being in love with Bob. *sigh* As I said, it's complicated. He knows how I feel about him, yet he doesn't push me away. He never has. I accept the fact that he loves Dot (even though I could kill her for what she did to him when Megabyte posed as the old version of Bob before he was shot into the Web). He accepts how I feel about him, but we both know that we can only have a good friendship. Hurts like Dell, but it's better than nothing. For the record, though, I'd do anything for him. I even saved him from Megabyte (Dot conveniently ignores this little fact). I just want him to be happy. If he's happy with Dot (User knows how he can be in the first place) then I've got no right to interfere. She infuriates me to no end, though. I've made it known. One and only time I've ever spoken to her, I told her exactly what I thought of her and vice versa. She started it, but I finished it. Haven't spoken to her since and that's just fine with me, but she's not going to ruin whatever relationship I have with Bob, be it friendship or something more. *sigh* Let's face it, it'll never be 'something more'. But I'm content to just be his friend. I can live with it as long as I know he's happy.
Ah...it's great to be a clone.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
kura452's journal
aggravated.
excited.
worried.
contemplative.
blah.
sleepy.